Proof of Life.

It was pointed out to me by my mentor, Jill, that my last post about my chronic condition being my full-time job was good, but missing a critical element – the connection between what I’m doing to take care of myself, and the reasons I have to. I am not just a victim of a random disease […]

Con-formation.

[kon-fawr-mey-shuh n] noun: the arrangement of the parts of an object; the act or state of conforming, or acting in accordance or harmony with prevailing standards, norms, or behaviors; one of the configurations of a molecule that can easily change its shape and can consequently exist in equilibrium with molecules of different configuration. We are […]

An Open Letter to Siblings, From Caregivers.

Family history and dynamics can be brutal. We know that, for whatever reason, you weren’t able to care for our parent and we were. We understand that you may also have been too busy/ill/occupied to help us with our parents’ care so we thought it was best to just go ahead and do what was […]

The Best Defense…

Protective coloring. Personal camouflage. Adaptations. Defense mechanisms. All things designed to protect and deflect. The dictionary defines camouflage in nature as the defensive reaction of an organism, using a combination of materials or coloration for concealment, either by making animals or objects hard to see or by disguising them as something else. Animals and insects also […]

Crossing the Border.

A recent horoscope I read (Rob Brezsny is amazing, look him up!) advised me to use caution as “you gear up for your rite of passage or metaphorical border crossing.” I usually love Brezsny’s horoscopes but this one really caught my attention because of the sheer number of role changes, rites of passage, and crossings […]

A Lame of Inches.

I’m not a huge sports fan but I do enjoy football and I often listen to it on the radio. The other day, I heard someone reference the saying about football being a game of inches, although I think sports fans would argue that success or failure in most sports can come down to inches. […]

The Hummingbird Hierarchy.

I don’t know if this happens to other people (though I suspect it does), but I’ll be going along believing something about the world and myself and how everything works, and I’ll have been doing some reading, or thinking, or self-exploration – and I’ll realize something might not be or work the way I thought […]

Chronic Relationships.

It can be a very valuable practice to put yourself in your partners’ or loved ones’ shoes and imagine what you are like to live with – then ask yourself whether you could live with you. Think of all your quirks, obsessions, desires, demands, patterns, projections, emotions, problems, past experiences, and expectations. How you deal (or […]

At the Corner of Crazy and Codependent.

This really counts as a follow up to my post, “Emotional Survivalist,” because the two subjects are so related – unhealthy ways of being in relationship that I am really good at! Nobody knows exactly who coined the word, “codependent,” but Melody Beattie brought it into common usage in the seventies. It was originally used […]

The Life-Changing Magic of Not Cluttering Shit Up in the First Place.

While Dad was still living alone, not only did his house start to fall apart, but he also filled it with junk: hoarded 2-liter recyclable pop bottles, food containers, and paper – including both the contents and the corresponding envelope of every piece of mail that entered the house. He also stashed food, afraid he […]