Proof of Life.

It was pointed out to me by my mentor, Jill, that my last post about my chronic condition being my full-time job was good, but missing a critical element – the connection between what I’m doing to take care of myself, and the reasons I have to. I am not just a victim of a random disease […]

An Open Letter to Siblings, From Caregivers.

Family history and dynamics can be brutal. We know that, for whatever reason, you weren’t able to care for our parent and we were. We understand that you may also have been too busy/ill/occupied to help us with our parents’ care so we thought it was best to just go ahead and do what was […]

The Turn of the Year.

I made Christmas cookies yesterday, which always makes me nostalgic. Mom used to make ten or fifteen types of cookies; she made some of the same kind every year but she also liked to experiment with a new recipe or two every year. I remember what the shelf looked like with all the cookie tins […]

Crossing the Border.

A recent horoscope I read (Rob Brezsny is amazing, look him up!) advised me to use caution as “you gear up for your rite of passage or metaphorical border crossing.” I usually love Brezsny’s horoscopes but this one really caught my attention because of the sheer number of role changes, rites of passage, and crossings […]

Spy Girls.

The birth of Agent V – Spy Girl, and her arch-nemesis, Mr. X, was a fluke; a complete accident brought about from the convergence of a Happy Meal toy, several Japanese cartoon and video characters, and a desperate need, on my part, to come up with something that would entertain V when she was seven […]

The Hummingbird Hierarchy.

I don’t know if this happens to other people (though I suspect it does), but I’ll be going along believing something about the world and myself and how everything works, and I’ll have been doing some reading, or thinking, or self-exploration – and I’ll realize something might not be or work the way I thought […]

A Rose by Any Other Name…

V came to me the other day and informed me that she wants to change her last name. She knows I chose my own name and she wanted to know what the procedure was for doing it, and how one picked a name that would harmoniously go with one’s first name, which is, of course, […]

Chronic Relationships.

It can be a very valuable practice to put yourself in your partners’ or loved ones’ shoes and imagine what you are like to live with – then ask yourself whether you could live with you. Think of all your quirks, obsessions, desires, demands, patterns, projections, emotions, problems, past experiences, and expectations. How you deal (or […]

May the Force Be With Us.

Recently, I applied to a local hospital’s Spiritual Care Department to be part of a program that trains people to be non-denominational patient chaplains. I had to turn in a long application, explaining my religious background and history of care of others. In the interview, I was quizzed about what I had written, as well […]

The Cold War.

I went into the parenting section of the bookstore the other day and while there were shelves of books on parenting, there was maybe one on step-parenting. Why there is no guide book on the step-family situation – which judging by my experiences and what I’ve been hearing and reading from friends and on blogs, […]