How Caregiving Ends.

I’m sitting in Dad’s room, watching him sleep, as I have so often. The twitching from his Parkinson’s has gotten worse and his body is in almost-constant motion. It looks uncomfortable. The room is small, just a bed and his recliner, so seating is limited. I’m currently perched on his wheelchair, which is fine – I’m […]

Enough is Enough.

I’ve been in pain to a greater or lesser degree since I was twenty-one: stabbing knee pain, immobile, sore shoulders, stiff and painful feet, aching hips, etc. So you can imagine my dismay when I started developing migraines on top of the RA. They started after I got in a car accident bad enough to […]

What if Everything Just Happens.

“We are neither our point of origin nor our goal; the former is long gone, the latter forever recedes as we move forward. We are the journey itself…The great rhythm of gain and loss is outside of our control; what remains within our control is the attitude of willingness to find in even the bitterest […]

Extroverted Introversion.

When V was little, her dad and I often took her to the playground to play. Invariably, we would get there and get settled, and then her dad would tell her to go ahead and go up to the other kids and start playing with them. This is something parents seem to do all of […]

A Passion for Compassion.

As I’ve been going about my day, my grief for my father weighing on my neck and pushing at the back of my eyes, I’ve been looking at the people around me, which I’ve always loved doing. I thought about the fact that it’s possible that everyone we see walking around during our day is walking […]

It’s Time.

Before I post an essay, I craft it in a Word document, then read it over and re-write it, then work on a different essay, then probably move some stuff around some more on the first one, before finally deciding it is ready to bring over here to be posted. This post is coming straight […]

RAge, Part 2.

“The inability to process and express feelings effectively, and the tendency to serve the needs of others before even considering one’s own, are common patterns in people who develop chronic illness.” Gabor Mate, When the Body Says No. This one sentence describes me to a T. As a child, I struggled at all times to […]


In 1946, a John Hopkins study showed that cancer patients tend to deny and repress conflictual emotions and impulses to a higher degree than do other people. Gabor Mate, author of, When the Body Says No, indicates that there may be a cancer type; those who have difficulty expressing anger may be more prone to […]