A Lame of Inches.

I’m not a huge sports fan but I do enjoy football and I often listen to it on the radio. The other day, I heard someone reference the saying about football being a game of inches, although I think sports fans would argue that success or failure in most sports can come down to inches. […]

The Last Voyage.

You know how it is, when you find yourself in the middle of some task or event, and you realize right in the middle of it that, not only have you never done anything like this before, but it is a completely surreal experience? I found myself doing just such a task two weeks ago, […]

Betting on the Flip.

Heads or tails. Right or left. Buy or Sell. Sign or don’t sign. Begin or don’t begin. End or continue. Stay or go. I’ve been reflecting lately on how we can be going along, living our lives, when we are suddenly presented with a choice to do something very different – or keep things as […]

The Hummingbird Hierarchy.

I don’t know if this happens to other people (though I suspect it does), but I’ll be going along believing something about the world and myself and how everything works, and I’ll have been doing some reading, or thinking, or self-exploration – and I’ll realize something might not be or work the way I thought […]

Chronic Relationships.

It can be a very valuable practice to put yourself in your partners’ or loved ones’ shoes and imagine what you are like to live with – then ask yourself whether you could live with you. Think of all your quirks, obsessions, desires, demands, patterns, projections, emotions, problems, past experiences, and expectations. How you deal (or […]

At the Corner of Crazy and Codependent.

This really counts as a follow up to my post, “Emotional Survivalist,” because the two subjects are so related – unhealthy ways of being in relationship that I am really good at! Nobody knows exactly who coined the word, “codependent,” but Melody Beattie brought it into common usage in the seventies. It was originally used […]

Put the”Body” Back in “Mindfulness!”

How often have we been told, “You should just slow down and breathe,” or, “to feel better, just tune in to your body and then do what it is telling you,” or, “Being mindful will help you feel less stressed.” (And by the way, the word, “mindful,” meaning focusing on getting back into your body, […]

How Caregiving Ends.

I’m sitting in Dad’s room, watching him sleep, as I have so often. The twitching from his Parkinson’s has gotten worse and his body is in almost-constant motion. It looks uncomfortable. The room is small, just a bed and his recliner, so seating is limited. I’m currently perched on his wheelchair, which is fine – I’m […]

What if Everything Just Happens.

“We are neither our point of origin nor our goal; the former is long gone, the latter forever recedes as we move forward. We are the journey itself…The great rhythm of gain and loss is outside of our control; what remains within our control is the attitude of willingness to find in even the bitterest […]

Extroverted Introversion.

When V was little, her dad and I often took her to the playground to play. Invariably, we would get there and get settled, and then her dad would tell her to go ahead and go up to the other kids and start playing with them. This is something parents seem to do all of […]