An Open Letter to Siblings, From Caregivers.

Family history and dynamics can be brutal. We know that, for whatever reason, you weren’t able to care for our parent and we were. We understand that you may also have been too busy/ill/occupied to help us with our parents’ care so we thought it was best to just go ahead and do what was […]

The Turn of the Year.

I made Christmas cookies yesterday, which always makes me nostalgic. Mom used to make ten or fifteen types of cookies; she made some of the same kind every year but she also liked to experiment with a new recipe or two every year. I remember what the shelf looked like with all the cookie tins […]

The Last Voyage.

You know how it is, when you find yourself in the middle of some task or event, and you realize right in the middle of it that, not only have you never done anything like this before, but it is a completely surreal experience? I found myself doing just such a task two weeks ago, […]

July 1938 – May 2016.

I got the call last Thursday at 11; Dad had taken a turn for the worse and Greg thought my sister and I should come over soon. Having just come from the gym, I rushed through getting ready and got on the road a short time later. When I got to his room, my sister was […]

How Caregiving Ends.

I’m sitting in Dad’s room, watching him sleep, as I have so often. The twitching from his Parkinson’s has gotten worse and his body is in almost-constant motion. It looks uncomfortable. The room is small, just a bed and his recliner, so seating is limited. I’m currently perched on his wheelchair, which is fine – I’m […]

What if Everything Just Happens.

“We are neither our point of origin nor our goal; the former is long gone, the latter forever recedes as we move forward. We are the journey itself…The great rhythm of gain and loss is outside of our control; what remains within our control is the attitude of willingness to find in even the bitterest […]

A Passion for Compassion.

As I’ve been going about my day, my grief for my father weighing on my neck and pushing at the back of my eyes, I’ve been looking at the people around me, which I’ve always loved doing. I thought about the fact that it’s possible that everyone we see walking around during our day is walking […]

It’s Time.

Before I post an essay, I craft it in a Word document, then read it over and re-write it, then work on a different essay, then probably move some stuff around some more on the first one, before finally deciding it is ready to bring over here to be posted. This post is coming straight […]

Home is Where the Heat Is.

By the time we realized that Dad needed as much help as he did, he had been living alone for at least thirteen years. In that time, the fabric of his house had started to fail, and a lot of the appliances had stopped working – including the furnace. Ever the stoic, Dad insisted that he was […]

The Joy of Living: Or, Why I Love Casinos.

The reality of life is that the world seldom gives us exactly what we want; in addition, it often takes what we already have and may really like, without leaving us much in return. We’ve all had difficult things happen to us, capabilities or possibilities taken away, hardships inflicted. We all have something we can’t […]