The Green Fuse.

Sitting on my patio, I noticed a green shoot of something that did not look like a blueberry bush, growing out of the wooden planter containing the blueberry bush that I planted in April. On closer inspection, it proved to be a tomato plant, which puzzled me greatly until I remembered that last summer, this pot had […]

Proof of Life.

It was pointed out to me by my mentor, Jill, that my last post about my chronic condition being my full-time job was good, but missing a critical element – the connection between what I’m doing to take care of myself, and the reasons I have to. I am not just a victim of a random disease […]


[kon-fawr-mey-shuh n] noun: the arrangement of the parts of an object; the act or state of conforming, or acting in accordance or harmony with prevailing standards, norms, or behaviors; one of the configurations of a molecule that can easily change its shape and can consequently exist in equilibrium with molecules of different configuration. We are […]

Emotional Survivalism.

I am an emotional survivalist. I am not making preparations for the end-times, don’t live in a bunker, and don’t hoard canned food and batteries. What makes me a survivalist is my historic ability to live on the barest minimum of emotional nourishment. I have a history of taking whatever small amounts of love, support, […]

RAge, Part 2.

“The inability to process and express feelings effectively, and the tendency to serve the needs of others before even considering one’s own, are common patterns in people who develop chronic illness.” Gabor Mate, When the Body Says No. This one sentence describes me to a T. As a child, I struggled at all times to […]


In 1946, a John Hopkins study showed that cancer patients tend to deny and repress conflictual emotions and impulses to a higher degree than do other people. Gabor Mate, author of, When the Body Says No, indicates that there may be a cancer type; those who have difficulty expressing anger may be more prone to […]